Exactly 1 Month

From 8 Jan when I went to A&E Alexandra & KK Women's Hospital (with the problem actually starting earlier), till 8 Feb yesterday (as of posting now), it's been exactly a month.

I thought it was slightly more than a month, but counting it exactly from A&E, it's exactly a month.

8 Feb morning, for the first time since 8 Jan, I went back to swimming.

Morning, I jogged a little, then evening swam 23 or 24 laps of the pool with hand paddles till 6.10 pm. Felt normal, as if nothing had happened. Can it be considered back in shape or...?

Had thought to swim relaxed without hand paddles, but felt Ok to use them.

The previous days, I've been jogging mornings, a little each time. Very slowly.

Still dependent on iron supplements (1~3 a day, depending on how I feel).

Will be posting change in diet and effects since 8 Jan.

Tease & Flirt @ Firefly Saturday 4 Feb (Singapore Clubbing)

(First posted in Fridae)

Firefly on Sat 4 Feb

2012-02-07 00:27

Fridae came back on after maintenance... but still looks the same. Thought was going to be upgrade? Revamp like Trevvy?

Well, the same is better than doing something new that doesn't work (like Trevvy).

What did Fridae do during these 2 days of maintenance? I still have to refresh the page so many times just to get the blog posting area to display properly in order to post.

And still having problems connecting to the site. Where is their server based in anyway?

------------

Firefly @ Mariott basement on Sat 4 Feb. Was an event where party-goers were given finger lights with each color denoting a different meaning. Very cool, sexy, fun idea.

Which was why I was interested this time, when receiving the Herstory e-mail about this event.

Usually, I just delete Herstory e-mails, but the theme this time was interesting enough to make me consider going (except I didn't have anyone to go with).

"Herstory Tease & Flirt: All Grrls Party @ Firefly 4 Feb 2012 (Saturday).

We all know February is the month of love. And to celebrate...

Herstory is bringing back the Tease & Flirt party we’ll willingly queue up for. Don’t remember what happened last year? Well, you wore your single status on your sleeve with a chosen light stick, downed too many stiff drinks and walked up to the sexy little thing who caught your eye – no need to say the rest. Aren’t you just excited that we’re doing this all over again? With a smashing, smouldering crowd; Gia, your favourite crowd-pleasers and DJ Victor’s killer tunes, no less.

Upon entry, you'll receive a LED Laser Finger Lights that is coded with the colour that best represents you!

BLUE: Single and Available!

GREEN: Predator on the Lookout!

RED: Tease with caution!

WHITE: Anything goes!

NONE: Oops I'm taken!

Grrls, Booze, Wicked Music, Dance Grooves. Enjoy a merry time @Firefly for Herstory Monthly Saturday Grrls Party.

**Make your table reservations early to avoid disappointment**

FREE ENTRY for students 19-23yrs before 10pm (Must show student pass)

FREE ENTRY for air crew before 11pm (Must show crew pass)

FREE ENTRY for Birthday Grrls all night long. (Celebrate your birthday during Herstory party and sign in 2 guests for FREE)

FREE LED Laser Finger Lights for all *While stocks last

Please email party@herstory.ws for table reservations and birthday celebrations."

Look at those color codes. :) Aren't they fun?

I was deciding between Blue & Green. As it turned out during the party, very few people wore more than 1 color on their fingertips (excluding the waiters who wore 3).

In fact...very few people actually turned on their finger lights, even though at the door, they were asked what colors they wanted and were given those lights.

Though the women came in pairs or in groups, I doubt All of them were taken.

So, it was quite a mystery why so many lights weren't turned on.

To begin at the beginning...

After receiving the e-mail and wondering about going, it became doubtful I'd be going since I doubted there would be anybody to go with, and I was too uncertain and lazy to go alone.

There was however, 1 possible chance of an accompanying companion...if she read my message in time here on Fridae.

On Friday, I sent message, just a thought whether we might go together to the event and doubtful she would read it in time. There have been quite big spacings of days in our replies so far.

However, on Saturday (the day itself), she replied. :)

I gave her my number since there wouldn't be much time till the event, and I might be going out to Takashimaya.

Even then, I wondered if I would actually be at Firefly that night since various possibilities could happen. Who knows. I've since learnt to not get my hopes up for a lot of things.

After a much needed nap, I left late for Taka, wanting to buy some groceries with my bro. (The nap was not planned, but I was just too tired/sleepy).

I was thinking of meeting my companion at Mariott at 9.30~10pm (was hoping to get the finger lights "while stocks last").

Also, I planned to leave the club before midnight to catch public transport. So... the later we met, the less time we would have to stay and watch, although from first-time experience at Attica, I knew 9.30~10pm was rather early for clubbing/clubbers who would only start getting in near or past midnight.

But no choice if I wanted to catch public transport.

On the other hand, my companion was planning (?) on a later time...and would not be there until past 10 pm.

Arriving at Taka, amazingly, the mall was going to close at 9.30pm, leaving just a few minutes of browsing at the supermarket and Watsons before the entire place just shuttered up.

Ah... that was too early since I wouldn't be meeting my newfound acquaintance till 10.30pm.

Somehow bro and I hung around, and then walked down to the Mariott where there didn't seem to be a basement inside or outside, and no directions to "Firefly".

Odd.

Had to ask the cafe waiter/lobby man at the Mariott lobby. He said to go past the lobby, see the exit sign and turn left.

He had to say that twice because ... I repeated after him and he repeated.

So then... Bro and I found the place.

It was not at basement level at all, but at the side of the building with a sign in faded orange-red "Firefly".

A few Indian men in suits sat around outside (doormen) with a few people leaning along the wall making me think it was a queue.

I said to my bro that the place looked seedy. (Like some Chinatown night spot with underground things going on inside).

One uncle holding the hand of a younger woman swept in. Now, why would an uncle be going to this event?

I followed, with my bro hanging rather reluctantly behind. Standing outside, I saw the uncle looking at the "menu" in a glass stand inside.

That seemed normal enough. To make things less seedy than it looked, I told my bro that the uncle was looking at the "menu" (implying we could also do the same).

So I entered, with the doormen glancing at me as I passed.

Bro followed. And we stood in front of the "menu" while the uncle went downstairs with his girlfriend/mistress to Firefly.

The menu turned out to be a programme list of what's up at the club for the night.

That was also when the uncle came back up the stairs with the younger woman and left.

So it seemed he had discovered what this event was about and felt it wasn't to his taste?

Bro and I also left to go back to the lobby (to wait for my companion). I said I'd check out the club downstairs later.

Along the way, I saw older women in very casual, non-clubbing attire heading to the club... (example, a woman in a flowing tube dress).

Strange.

In the lobby restroom, I saw aunties. Also attending the event?? Or more likely in for cheap alcohol and cheap entrance fee?

While joining the end of the 3-women queue for available cubicles, I was rather attracted to a woman in a black collared shirt, jeans and black belt waiting in front of me.

Short-cropped hair, hard narrow face, rather masculine height and slim physique with a little love handles (fat) on either side above the jeans.

Must be one of those masculine-styled women attending the event. But.. she was an older woman compared to the usual younger types, and her face was hard with some of that age showing (despite her short hair). A little of the auntie look already.

She suddenly turned and noticed me standing behind her, as we waited.

Then she did something strange:

For a moment, she sidestepped to the left, as if wanting to let me go first? Or...?

I didn't get what she was doing, but then she went ahead to a cubicle that just opened, and by her clicking heels, I noticed her shoes were black and flat-heeled like a man's.

(Incidentally, I didn't see her or any of the aunties in the club when I finally went in).

At the lobby, bro and I sat in the cafe sofas while waiting. Bro was afraid the waiter/lobby man would ask us to leave. I said, "That's why I'm reading the menu".

Or rather, pretending to read it.

I said even if the waiter asked us to leave, I believe he would do so nicely, since this is a 5 or 6-star hotel. No problem if he should say we couldn't sit here.

Looking around while waiting, I saw a ... pink and collared shirt pudding with glasses walking by.

Made me smile. I told my bro, "This pudding is also going to the event?".

I was sure she was going to the event since she looked the sort. The type who dresses in the masculine style: typical shirt, jeans and short hair.

Except... Rounded, bouncy...pudding.

Around 10.40 pm, my acquaintance arrived in the lobby area.

Although there were a few people walking in and out, her entrance was quite unmistakable (though we've never met).

Bro said, "That one, is it? With the phone in her hand.". He was speaking a little too loudly to catch her attention since she was walking away. It alarmed me because I'd rather just meet her on my own, without my bro being seen.

I had seen her, but turned to look again. Then said to my bro that he could leave with the groceries (so I could meet with her).

Bro and I had earlier decided that he would walk with me to Mariott and then leave once my acquaintance arrived.

I had told bro it was an all-girls party, with men as guests, but didn't mention it was a gay women's event...

I had said if he wanted, he could come along, just pay more, but at the thought of having to pay for what he wasn't interested in, he said "don't want" (as I knew).

Yet I was making rather obvious comments about the event and the women, so I don't know if he knew what kind of event it was. At the end when I came home, I even said my finger light color means "single and available" and he still didn't comment.

---------

Mm...first of all, thanks to my companion for taking a cab down to meet with me, just to be at Firefly.

As we went down the stairs where the party was...

I heard heavy music bass blasting up, making me reluctant to continue. Since my acquaintance had been in there once before, I asked if the $10 was worth paying.

Upon reaching the bottom of the steps facing the club's entrance, I hung back at the side while the counter staff took entrance fees from those entering and stamped the underside of the forearms of a group of girls.

At such times, the most irrational indecisiveness and anxiety will seize me.

I'll hang outside a club instead of going in (even though I came with the intention of entering), wondering if paying the entrance fee is worth it (or if I should save it and go home).

Going to clubs/bars actually gives me quite a lot of stress/anxiety before entering. I would feel great uncertainty and indecisiveness...Neither able to go in nor leave.

While others casually, excitedly and happily just stroll in, I seem unable to. My feet seem rooted to the ground outside, and I just can't seem to cross that threshold.

The louder the music I hear coming from inside, the worse. It gives me even more of an excuse not to go in (on account of the music being too deafening, and I still want my hearing).

Yet, I came to the place wanting to go in and have fun.

It's a very... difficult dilemma that can be quite a torture whenever I'm outside a nightclub/bar. I could hang around outside for several long minutes trying to decide whether to go in (and in the end walking away).

It's like a person is afraid of water, so he/she stands at the pool's edge looking down at the beckoning water, but can't go in.

Afraid. Yeah, I think that's it.

Fear of what's inside that dark place. Afraid of what exactly...I actually don't know. It's a barrier feeling.

I guess because it's been ingrained to me since young what such places are like, what kinds of people are there etc...

It's very hard for me to think of such places as just for "fun" especially when I've also read reports of drunken fights, bad behavior etc...

At the same time, I'm curious and want to see, want to be a part of.

If there's sex being performed live in there... that would be interesting. :)

If someone were to pick me up, or give me her number, that would be interesting.

If ladies started dancing naked or in their lingerie, that would also be

interesting.

(Later, I saw one short girl-guy putting her arms straight on the shoulders of another, swaying their hips with loving feeling to the music. Unfortunately, not sexy and I looked away.).

The possibilities that I wonder about and would like to see for real happening, seduces me.

At the entrance, pink heart-shaped balloons floated under the ceiling, dangling golden strings down (romantic). Inside, I could see tables and women in the semi-darkness as the music bass blasted.

I walked closer to look in, past the doormen, and inside looked fine. Still... I

continued hanging outside.

My companion was of the opinion that hanging around outside wasn't the thing. She was fine with staying or leaving.

I was thinking that since we were already there, and she had made her way to accompany me, I couldn't possibly just walk away (even though I most likely would have walked away if I came alone).

So, finally, I nodded that we go in, and she had to confirm that that was what I wanted.

Counter staff asked what colors we wanted for our finger lights and we asked for 2 blues. :)

Paid $10 per person, which was very cheap. As for drinks, I wasn't intending to have any. The nightclub can't make any more money off of me since I don't drink.

No I/C checks which I like.

Firefly wasn't as dark as Attica. It was a semi-darkness that you could see faces quite clearly. (And there were quite a few handsome-pretty girls there).

I thought it was going to be dimmed further later, but the place remained as it was.

It looked better than Attica, with better lighting and layout. Too bad the tables have to be reserved and the seats too far back to see the dance floor.

Dance floor is a small, concrete area. If anyone knows of a more classy nightclub with some nice carpeting and sofas, please let me know.

More of the pink heart-shaped balloons were strapped to railings around the dance floor and tables on the level above.

My companion got a glass of water for me, while she ordered a Heineken. The Heineken was served fast but my water and her change (after payment) took a while in coming. Minus points for bartender and waiter.

The price of my water was unknown and my companion assumed it was free. When the receipt came with the change, I didn't check the price. And later, my companion didn't save the receipt...

I had wanted to pay her for it. How much could a glass of water be?

Since it was still early in terms of clubbing time, I began to stroll around the

tables on the level above the dance floor, just to feel the layout of the floor area.

In the semi-darkness, some women sitting at the tables glanced up at me as I passed.

Halfway, I stopped because, suddenly I realized I seemed to be... too prowling or showing myself off...

So, reversing direction, I didn't complete the loop back to the start point, and re-joined my companion waiting behind me.

We stood at a small, round table reserved for "Cary" but this person didn't turn up even past 10.30 pm, at which time, according to my companion who referred to the e-mail via her handphone, the seat would be forfeit. I hadn't read the e-mail that closely to know this. So, I commented that it was some very sharp reading on her part. :)

That being the case, I took hold of the paper triangle, pulled it off without knowing it was stuck to the tabletop with sticky tape, put it aside and turned the name down.

The table was on the level above the dance floor, providing an excellent view of the dance area and around. I really liked it and wondered what was the table number (so maybe next time I might reserve the same one).

Unfortunately, our chairs were missing. Looking behind, other tables had more chairs than they should have.

Sharing the table with us, was ... whatdoyaknow... pink pudding. She had a girl beside her, though I didn't see who the friend was. Pink pudding placed her drink on our table but I can't recall if her friend's drink was also on it.

Nobody was dancing, everyone was just standing around giving a big empty space to the dance floor. Bummer.

But in hindsight, given the bad music without a rhythm to dance to, it was no surprise.

(Attica on the other hand, had played the same songs throughout the night, over and over again, with people not minding as they packed in and danced on that tiny dance floor).

A strange Ang Mo in a black off-shoulder dress took to the dance floor with a green light on the middle finger of his/her right hand... (isn't that a man?).

Green = predator. *grimace* With looks like that... and legs standing stiffly

apart (in a dress) like tree trunks... I doubt she/he could "predate" anyone.

A man joined in dancing with her for short while, then later a fat man did the same and she put her arms around his shoulders in a hug. Not sure if they are friends of hers or strangers.

The rest of the floor was expectedly of 2 types of women: those in pants and those not.

There were a few men, since men are allowed as guests of women, though it costs more at $15 per entry.

I noticed three short gay men that I realized were gay when one of them kissed the other near the dance floor. My thought was: why are they so short? They are men, are they not?

The women in pants seemed to wear the same as each other, with collared shirts. The type tends to wear plain-colored collared shirts, though in the semi-darkness, the colors couldn't be seen.

Those not in pants...I didn't notice.

As mentioned in a previous post, I seem to be interested in pretty-handsome (or handsome-pretty) women/girls. To me, their masculine roles are too obviously fake and they are more vulnerable than other women in this way.

Unknowingly, they wear their insecurities and vulnerabilities on the outside.

A weakness that attracts and fascinates me (and sometimes puts me off as well).

[Considering this earlier today 8 Feb, it occured to me: Doesn't that make me a true-er predator than the so-called predators? :) Watching and desiring those who think they hunt. ]

In bed, they would be under me. At the moment, just the thought of kissing and pleasuring a pretty one in bed is an enjoyable feeling.

For a moment, as I looked among the faces of those women in pants, I thought one of them might be Joy, the waitress from the Thai restaurant (so similar are all their faces).

The body type of those in pants was short, small-sized, thin/slim, with a few looking under-nourished and not well-proportioned.

Those in pants with faces that I noticed were pretty and feminine (rather than handsome), I wanted to get to know to bed (regardless of the person beside them whom I didn't even see).

There were quite a number of those around, as I looked around in the semi-darkness, and as it drew closer to midnight with more of them entering.

While my companion spoke in my ear and I nodded while listening (and pushing away the balloons on my left blocking my view), I noticed a woman glancing up at me as she stood on the level just below.

In a V-necked T, she was talking and smiling with friends, beer jugs on their table. One of those masculine-styled women.

Glancing back at her, our eyes made contact for a split instant before I glanced away. She looked dry from too much beer or smoking.

Not sure if she was specifically looking at me or just a coincidence.

Not sure if that was their table since they seemed to stand a little detached from it.

From time to time, I glanced down at her but no more eye contacts were made. She didn't glance up as much or anymore. Much later, the group drifted away.

Some time later, I noticed a girl-guy in a black-collared shirt standing directly across the club, at the back, leaning against the wall beside the DJ's place, seemingly looking straight at me.

At that distance, in the semi-darkness, she looked a lot like Joy. Wouldn't be surprised if it was her.

Meanwhile, the whole time, I was pushing away the pink heart-shaped balloons floating above the left side of our table. Tied to the bottom railing, they kept getting in the way of my dance floor viewing.

Even in the darkness/semi-darkness, all the ladies looked tired and worn out.

Probably due to working, smoking, alcohol, lack of exercise and lack of beauty sleep. All looking around the same age, 20s~30s.

At 11.50 pm, the place started getting very crowded, filling up the dance floor. Around that time, a waitress came to our table asking if we were "Cary".

Earlier, I had wondered to my companion if "Cary" was a male or female. While my companion thought that Cary is a female name, I felt the person might be female or male. There is a male actor that I liked in The Princess Bride movie with that name (Cary Elwes).

Since we didn't reply, the waitress turned the paper reservation triangle back up with the name facing in front, and plucked the remnants of sticky tape off the tabletop.

Then a group of women started taking over.

Whether there was a Cary among them, I've no idea. But they took over without so much as a glance back or around at us, which made me just stand back looking at them (without knowing where else to go or park).

Wasn't the table already forfeit after 10.30pm? Why were they still able to claim it? Now thinking about it, shouldn't we have "reminded" the waitress about it instead of just standing back?

The waitress spoke to them and I assumed it was probably to tell them that technically the table was no longer theirs but just this one time...

I glanced at my companion and saw her hanging aside, Heineken in hand, staring ahead at what seemed to be nothing in particular.

One of those who took over the table glanced back at me, but I have no recollection of what she looked like. A taller, unattractive one like a male Beng started laying out the Heineken coasters on their table.

With the table gone with the view, the place filling up fast, and the time ticking closer and closer to midnight, I decided to leave.

Yeah, leaving just when the fun just started. What a bummer (the same feeling I felt when having to leave Attica).

If only I had my own transport, I could stay past midnight.

My companion was Ok to leave, so we went. On our way out, a much longer queue was already in place, all the way up the stairs, comprising of female couples and one or two men/guys.

As we walked to the bus-stop, I wondered to my companion how we could stay if we didn't leave the place. Table gone. Dance floor crowded with more people coming in.

She said we could find a spot or corner on the dance floor area and stand around there.

I said it wasn't possible with the place getting so packed, but it was then that I realized that probably, she had wanted to stay. If she had wanted to stay, I might have...

But I was concerned that my bro would be worried about me since I told him I'd be back before midnight (besides worrying about the taxi fare surcharge). And I was getting slightly hungry and concerned about getting hungrier later.

Looking at the party, it didn't seem worth staying/sacrificing for.

Overall, I quite enjoyed Firefly, thanks to the company.

But since nothing happened while I was there, it was boring.

Too bad I had to leave before I turned into a pumpkin.

The crowd could do more than just stand around. I don't know what they did after I left. Maybe there was some sexiness or nottiness on the dance floor.

But while there, with my bright blue finger light hanging on the zipper of my pouch that I held in my hand, nothing happened.

As mentioned earlier above, very few people actually turned on their finger lights. My companion attributed it to shyness, though I wonder how that could be when they are gay women.

Yet they can't all be taken, right?

According to my companion, people are friendlier in the bars/clubs of other countries, such that "Hi, can I buy you a drink" is possible.

Where then, is my "Hi, can I buy you a drink" in the 2 clubs (Attica & Firefly) and 1 bar (the ex-Toca me) that I've visited so far?

She said it can never happen in gay women bars/clubs in Singapore.

What a pity. It means I'll never get picked up. *smiling at the silly thought*

It means I've to come up with a story where picking up and then bed occurs. And more that never happens at these gay women events in SG. Such as... being enjoyed by a few women in a secret room of a club. Such a room that I actually saw at Firefly, just across from the bar counter.

An empty room where I saw one woman standing, looking miserable... and if I recall correctly, smoking.

What a pity. A room just for smoke.

Upon catching the bus and walking home (after the bus interchange closed), and then reaching home, I showed bro the finger light.

I wondered where the club got such cute lights, and he said, "Daiso sells".

Is it? Then the club bought them at $2 each? Isn't that rather expensive to give out to everyone? Or did they get a bulk deal?

Incidentally, when in a club/bar, I always look at the ceiling and floor, and notice it doesn't take much to open one. No decoration needed. Not really needing much paint.

Small dance floor, minimal furniture. Pack everybody in on a Saturday night, reap in the bucks. (Is a one-time packing in a week enough for a lot of profit?).

I wonder how much money they are making and also want to open my own club.

Firefly charges $10/person for entry. Is that enough to operate such a joint? Or more likely, the profit comes from the alcohol?

I wonder if I should visit Firefly again, since they have events every Sat night (if I got that right). This time, I'll go alone.

Or should I check out PLAY that my acquaintance said is better with a younger crowd that's more daring? :)

I start imagining myself in the black gothic-punk style top with jeans, sitting one leg crossed over the other, in a couch, a drink in hand. A glittering blue earring on my left/right ear, and a ring hanging from a long silver-black chain necklace.

That ought to interest the younger, daring girls without scaring them away with too much gothic/punk.

That gothic/punk top, when I first tried it on (some year back) in the shop with my jeans, the salesgirl had immediately exclaimed that I looked cool. Although I was skeptical about her comment, I bought it for a lot of money (yes, I don't remember how much).

Mm.. Not sure if the same cool effect is still there...I don't think so, but it's worth a fantasy.

A young girl giving me her number would be nice. PLAY I noticed before (while standing out there one night), has a queue of very young girls. So young that I wondered if they are merely 12 or 13, though that's impossible since it would be against regulation (unless the club is breaking it).

To be honest, at Firefly, it was a little awkward holding on to a bright blue light that signaled I'm single and available. It's like... yeah, like a Firefly. :) (what a brilliant idea this club came up with).

But in practice... it felt odd walking around with a signal like that. At first, while getting our drinks at the bar, I switched it on and off, following the music.

I didn't want to switch it off completely because I was there to attract interest. If it were switched off, it would defeat the purpose.

Then I attached the light to the zipper of my pouch and quite forgot about it.

So... in a way, my acquaintance might be right about the ladies being "shy" to turn on their lights. Though it's also quite possible that almost all are taken since they came with girlfriends. Taken = no finger light (bummer).

When I mentioned to bro about "Hi, can I buy you a drink" and why gay women in Singapore were too shy to do the same, he said, "Not shy, it's stingy.".

I laughed and had to agree since my first thought when I heard my companion mention it, was "This person so rich, meh? Buy a stranger a drink.".

It's because I can't see myself buying someone a drink, no matter how attractive the other person looks. So, yeah, I laughed because my bro is so right.

Pretty sure that's what gay women of SG think as well, though shyness/coyness also has a part.

-------------

8 Feb: Thinking of the posh line of clubs from the same "family" that just opened last year. I didn't know they existed until they came up in a Google search last night.

So, there are clubs with plush carpets and furnishings after all.

MINK has some pretty women partying there (but what sort?)... https://www.facebook.com/clubmink

Unfortunately, a review said MINK is more of a lounge than a club, with plenty of sofas but not enough dance floor. That's rather a bummer since I want to see dancing (not Waltz).

As for Royal Room, designed for "Singapore’s elite clientele", access via invitation and referrals only => looks boring: http://sg.lifestyleasia.com/en/features/wine-and-dine/new-club-royal-room-at-pan-pacific-singapore-9062/

Pangaea... Nice cool wow name, but are those PVC seats? http://sg.lifestyleasia.com/en/features/entertainment/new-club-pangaea-singapore-9168/

Why does it look so boring? (It won't be boring if naked women go from section to section, dancing for the customers to watch... and if preferred... do more on the seats).

Interesting they used the name Pangaea. So these club owners are educated (surprised).

Eons ago, the continents were one, called Pangaea, until it broke apart, separating into the present continents.

Not interested in Avalon, since from their website, the place looks like a garage.

Ebay SG Singapore & Pinkbox Waterton/Konlinehouse Korea Shopping Service Post Comment

Mm... such stupidity these days. Quite annoying.

I don't like using the "s" word, but it has become necessary these days. No point going around it with lesser and less accurate words.

At first, had ideas of what the first post should be, after the brief absence. Practically typed it out in my head a few nights. But then... things always get in the way, like this:

1) Ebay SG. 

Received Ebay e-mail message this morning, that someone just purchased a set of new cosmetics I was selling. At the same time, there was a 2nd Ebay e-mail saying my a/c was restricted.

Assuming my Ebay message box was also restricted, I sent e-mail to the buyer, thanking her for her purchase with payment details. After that, I signed into my Ebay a/c and realized the message box was fine. So, I sent the same message to the buyer's Ebay account.

Every time I get message from Ebay SG that someone has "bought" my items, I can't rejoice until the person actually makes the payment. Ebay SG has so many bad buyers that usually they don't pay for all sorts of reasons.

To be polite, when someone has "bought" an item, I'd say "Thanks for your purchase", although nothing has been purchased yet and the item is still mine until the money comes through. 

This time, was no surprise to receive her reply through e-mail:  (Joanne Ong joanne.chiam@gmail.com)

Sorry but I did a wrong click.

"did a wrong click".

How possible is that?

First, there's the big blue Ebay "Buy It Now" button right beside the price. One would need to place the cursor on that button and click it.

Is it possible to do a "wrong click"?

How about after clicking and the price slowly sinking in....she suddenly realized she didn't have the money to pay (or changed her mind about buying)?

Even if it was an accidental click, shouldn't she send a sincere message first to apologize? Why wait till receiving my message with payment details, then say "did a wrong click"?

It is unlikely the click was accidental.

I don't know what young girls like her are thinking these days and how they were brought up. What else can she be, except one of those young flippy floppy girls (unless it's a young floppy "he")?

The new generation are very poorly raised, ever since parents went to work and stopped taking care of their own kids.

The future generation will be worse because they are currently being "raised" by foreigners such as Filipinos, Indos and (goodness no) China-ese.

On a plus side, at least she had the decency to reply that she "did a wrong click". Some others would have just kept quiet and pretend they didn't exist.

Then comes the question...Would it matter if they didn't exist?

-----------

Due to the "wrong click",  I can't put the listing back on (unable to put up for sale again), because Ebay now has this ridiculous policy where only a certain number of items can be listed. After that, there is no way to re-list or to change any of the listings, until their bid times all expire at the same time and they are all put back up at the same time.

To change something in a listing, it would then only be possible to put only this listing up. The other items/listings would be denied.

Example, if you had 20 items/listings, you would need to re-list all of them at once.  If you made a change to 1 of them and then re-listed it, you wouldn't be able to re-list the rest. Ebay will say you have exceeded the "limit" of the number of items you can sell, which is insane. It's a bug (among others) or some absurd policy that started some time back.

2) Comment from a she/he/it about Korea Shopping Service Konlinehouse/Pinkbox Review here.

I posted this review of a Korea shopping service that I had used, partly because I knew it would be searched on Google. Meaning, this new blog site would have some traffic from it.

It was a certainty that people would be looking for a review on this shopping service (Konlinehouse/Pinkbox) website, in order to know whether they should trust it or use it. My review would be sought for and found. At that time, it would be the only review available on this shopping service website (it still probably is the only one, I haven't checked).

Since posting it, I've had (not surprisingly), people asking for free information on "reliable" Korea shopping service websites.

When I ran ads looking for erotic/sensuous massage from suitable ladies, women (who don't do their own homework) would ask me if I have found one, and to let them know when I've found one.

At first, I replied without temper. Subsequently, I just told them off to go look on their own instead of riding free on my information that I am seeking on my own effort and time.

Here I am, trying my best to look, hoping and waiting, and finding it difficult (because there hasn't been anyone matching my requirements). And there, these women are not only not offering to provide what I'm seeking, but dare to ask for a handout.

I don't know why women always take, expecting freebies, taking for granted.

Men on the other hand, so far I've found online, freely give information (even though I was looking for women in my ads).

One guy's message made me realize another type of massage that I had never heard of at that time: Tantric/Tantra. He said from my description, it might be what I'm looking for. (It wasn't).

Another guy said he wasn't offering to give me massage, and didn't know how to anyway, but he knew a woman whom he thinks might be suitable and gave me her number (she ultimately turned out to be bad).

There are other times when men have provided information and comfort to me online. But women...

Be they customers, lover or friend... online or offline, gay or not, I can't think of a woman (non-family) who has impressed me positively.

Sure, they impress me all the time actually... I get surprised by their... silliness, ridiculousness, appalling attitude, language and behavior, shallowness, hollowness... I'm just shocked (deadpan).

Now, the latest comment about the shopping service website, asked the same as the others: whether I know of any reliable Korea shopping service and to e-mail her/him/it.

As I have done for the others who asked, I sent her a link to a website that I know is reliable.  In her case, I added that the website would be suitable if she was in Singapore.

Her reply, without a "thanks" or even a "hi":

isn't it just advertising for yours? -.-

Now, consider: If I wanted to advertise something of mine, don't you think I'd put out the link every time someone posted a comment asking for a reliable Korea shopping service website?

Whether I'm advertising or not, the fact is, she asked first. If she did her own homework and didn't ask, I wouldn't need to have to "talk" to her, now would I?

My reply:

You're free to think whatever you like.
Since you asked, there's a link provided to you.
Alternatively, you can search on your own.

Her reply:

sure cause it looks like it. i wasn't asking for services based in singapore, there are plenty of that around if i wanted. so thanks, but no thanks.

Point of fact:  There aren't many Korean services based in Singapore (or based in the US or anywhere else).

The Koreans are very closed in terms of exporting their stuff to the rest of  the world (unlike Japan). Not many people have direct Korean contacts.  Very, very few Koreans offer shopping service.

The Koreans do not generally have incentive to "help" people buy stuff from Korea.

If she wanted a direct Korea shopping service,  she should have said so, then I would have told her to go search on her own. I can only provide information on what I know to be "reliable".

What is this "thanks, but no thanks"? It's not as if I'm peddling the information. When someone provides information/help, regardless of whether it's useful, say "Thanks".  This is the least a person can do to show appreciation.

As mentioned, if she didn't ask, I wouldn't reply. Whether she's asking for services in Singapore or not, it is not a given that an answer is owed to her. Don't take it for granted that people owe her freebie information.

Whether she's looking for a shopping service based in Singapore or not, whether she finds it or not... Frankly, my dear, I don't give a damn.

------------

As an aside: While I've criticized others for being poorly raised, my search for an erotic/sensuous massage from women is different from it. It is not a case of the pot calling the kettle black.

Take it in context.  Shouldn't an apology for a "wrong click" be sent immediately to the seller? For Ebay SG, there is nothing I can do regarding such buyers. But I wonder what about Ebay US or Europe? Is there any recourse for sellers against these sort of buyers? (probably also not, since Ebay has unfairly sided with buyers).

And that silly girl's "thanks but no thanks", without a "hi" or "thanks" for something given? I wonder if she's from Singapore... It is a sad fact that flippy floppy girls are plenty there. Then again... US girls can be as bad... (recalls a particularly bad one).

Why do I say it's a "she"?

1) Girls/women are more likely into shopping online than men. They cannot resist pretty images and are not as practical as men when shopping.
2) Her tone sounds female (silly, know-nothing, annoying, rude).

Ever since meeting such people online... I've become tired of being "correct". These days, sometimes, I actually don't bother capitalizing the beginning of sentences in some messages to some people whom I feel fed up with.

Yeah, it may sound funny, but capitalization does take effort. It shows respect, consideration, a desire to impress upon the other person positively or negatively, and for crystal clarity.

Unfortunately, while I take some breaks in being "correct", I still try to be mostly "correct" and I still make effort here and there.

Update in the evening:

Regarding "I can't think of a woman (non-family) who has impressed me positively", I recall that some time back, there was an Ebayer from Hong Kong who purchased cosmetics and actually made prompt payment. She was also nice enough to thank me when she received the package and for the "nice wrapping". She meant the bubble wrap that I used to protect the item.

Days...

Day...since last Sat... Day 7. A week since I last swum, and I think wounded the fibroid that got worse and gave my lower back hell.

I'm now typing at a distance of... I can't get the tape measure...The laptop screen is more than arm's length away, it's sitting on a cardboard box of the right height, but too far away.

Bro is fashioning a table that can be closer to me...trying to cut the cardboard box that he had bought the fan in for me 2 days ago because my old fan couldn't gear up to speed.

Too bad, the fan box isn't working. So I asked him to check Daiso plastic section for anything that might work as a table top in bed. Like those breakfast bed tables, you know.


I try not to move as much as possible. Just lay in a semi-sitting position in bed, propped with a pillow behind and that's it.

Bro thinks maybe Ikea might have. I said it doesn't have to be exactly a bed table. Just the function will do.

I'm lying perpendicularly in my bed, half of my legs outside on a swivel chair that is no longer in use recently but I refuse to discard. Had a feeling the swivel chair would come in useful. Had bought a new chair to replace it back then, but ironically/coincidentally now that I'm not up to par, I'm not using.

My poor bro is more stressed about my condition that me. He hasn't slept well at all since last week, and has been taking care of me (getting my food, bringing it to my bedside, searching online for more information on the condition).

I told him to take afternoon rest, don't be so stressed. Right now, all we can do is wait. According to online discussions by US women, it would seem a condition of degenerating fibroids that will take 2~4 weeks before feeling better. But those are pregnant women describing very super tough conditions that they went through.

I told bro those women deserve medals. My goodness. How is it even humanly possible to bear so much pain as they have done is beyond anything. Pregnant and with fibroids. Super double pain.

Dad just came home and asked me to go for blood transfusion. Since he don't understand a thing, I had to explain how much of a quack the doctors are.

Bro just came home from buying a tier rack shelf thing for me...


I told dad to not be so stressed (since he was sighing in front of me).  He said his blood pressure went up, etc etc... cannot sleep at night thinking about my problem etc...


I said there's no point worrying because worrying doesn't help. What I need is information and solution. If he has information on TCM, then fine. If not, nothing to be done.

Now, all we can do, or all I can do, is wait for whatever is the natural cycle to pass.

After explaining and talking to him so much, he still mentioned that maybe I should consider surgery. I got so fed up, I told him off that I waste my time talking to him. I glanced at the clock and said that while explaining to him, my day is gone.

If he don't understand, then fine. I am looking for alternative healing. Not more problems from people who don't understand the condition and propose things that will cause complications and more pain.

I'll try another go at writing today.

P/S: the silly hot water bottle doesn't help. It stinks of rubber/silicon. Gave me rash upon contact with skin. Its heat made me feel worse and made my backache worse.
 

Pissed

8.36 p.m. Thurs

Patience has turned to anger. Slammed the damn mouse against the mouse pad just now. It's been disobeying commands... bearable when I'm well, hateful when I'm ill. Hate it. Feel like throwing it against the wall. Smash Everything!

Why must I be given this female body?! Who gave it to me?!!

Lower back hurts, my womb/uterus hurts, fibroid hurts. I can't sit here typing without feeling the hurt.

Bro said those "Ah Kuas" (men who play dress up as women), should experience this. Since they want to be women, then have the whole package!

I said, "Now you know why I get so pissed with them. Men who think being women is just about wearing dresses and heels. Simplistic imbeciles. No matter how much you explain to them, they won't understand. Being a man is so much better, fewer physical problems. Women... indeed, I've come to believe, are the weaker sex in terms of physical well-being.".

For the past 5 days, bro has been taking care of me. I've been in bed most of the time. Even now, it hurts to sit too long at my desk. I'm thinking of moving the laptop to my bed.

I've to lay down. When will I be well again? Or is this... only the beginning of an end? *sardonic smile*

Bro has just bought me a warm/hot rubber bottle compress for the cramping feeling in my uterus. Now trying to make the damn thing work. The rubber stinks and hot water cannot be poured directly into it. Yet mixing with cool water does not make it hot. Useless thing.

We can only guess what the heck is going on inside me. I don't even know.

Might have to resort back to using the old fashioned towel in hot water way. Surprising, this simple method gives relief.

Ok, seems the rubber bottle is working. It's on me now and its heat increases from warm to hot.

Back at A&E Again. Alexandra (twice so far) & KK Singapore

First posted in Fridae. (8 p.m. for this posting)

Back at A&E (again). Alexandra & KK

2012-01-08 19:17

I'm feeling cold, unwell. Cold, sweating hands and feet.

Back from KK A&E (accidents & emergencies) where doc tested blood count to be only 5.8. Way below average (11~16) and under half.

Doc was keen for me to do blood transfusion and 1 night's admission for observation. He wanted to bring it up to 8 (= 1 bag of blood increases count by 1 unit).

I wasn't keen. Don't want another person's blood to be circulating in me. And afraid of incompatibility reaction that I read (in the past) can be life-threatening.

I mentioned antigens to him, and whether the matching will be 100% perfect.

Despite doc's assurance that it will be very carefully matched, and discussion with bro (who encouraged the transfusion), I walked out.

I said I was feeling fine (while sitting in the chair in front of the doc. He smiled, said yes, for now. But with so low blood count... it is very dangerous and risky. Can't tell when will suddenly faint. Heart is taxed.

If continue without transfusion, possibility of heart failure later.

Just 2 days ago, on Friday, I went swimming. 30 laps with hand paddles to increase workout. Had backache from another condition then, but didn't know blood count was so low.

Yet was able to pull 30 laps with effort. Had I known blood count was so low, I'd not have swam.

First month last year, a doc had checked blood count to be 7 point-something, and he had let me go without blood transfusion. I continued thinking my blood count remained at that number.

But blood count has since dropped without my knowledge.

Miracle I still could swim without even knowing. My goodness.

Before swimming, I had considered possibility of fainting suddenly while swimming. Body can give out anytime. If that happens, I would drown.

This doc said the same thing when I told him I go swimming.

At the moment, feeling poor.

Tomorrow, going back to KK to do scan.

At the moment, feeling poorly. I've decided to do the blood transfusion tomorrow.

Hope everything will be fine. I do not need 1 problem built on another.

I do not want to do blood transfusion. But looks like have to.

The human body is separate from the mind. I cannot control what the body will do next. I told the KK doc "I will take the risk" before walking out.

But can I? Is the risk something I can afford to take?

Didn't like the doc taking 2~3 bars of syringe of my blood. Before this, asked if it would hurt. He said, just a little. And nurse assured me as well, and told me not to look.

When he said need to draw blood for testing, I asked how much. He showed me about 2 bars of a syringe. I hate syringes.

I think he took more than he told me. :(

Meanwhile, I've customers' orders to handle. I won't be back tomorrow night if I agree to transfusion.

*sinks head into right palm* Why must the human body be like this?

Alexandra I know from checking online, has no gynaecologist. Going there only confirmed it. The doc said he can only give painkillers for the condition I came to see him for.

He referred me to KK. Said they have 24-hrs gynae on duty even on Sun.

So, took cab to KK.

This is how my new year starts.... I fear how it might end.

Between now and tomorrow's appointment at KK for scan... is only a few more hours. Hope this night will be Ok.

Worrying does nothing but add to worry.

Called dad, but dad doesn't seem to care. Didn't ask bro to pass the phone to talk to me.

A few days ago, (the reason for the "shoulder to cry on" blog post) was because of dad's inconsiderate and rather evil behavior.

Yet, I feel he ought to know that I'm going into hospital tomorrow. So, bro called to tell him.

A few days ago...

I believe it was done on purpose because he wasn't pleased with what Bro and I said about his packet of fresh milk that wasn't refrigerated, he spilled the milk on the floor near the sink and just walked away.

I was in the bathroom and saw the spilled milk when I came out. Was going to confront him about it, when bro told me not to.

I told bro, dad did it on purpose so that I clean up.

Now, I guess maybe shouldn't have told him I would be going for scan and stuff tomorrow.

I've always thought that Dad was not quite right in the head. Now I think he has become evil and inconsiderate.

He knows I'm not well and still he spilled it for me to clean up. Even if it were an accident, surely he could have said so.

I feel it was malicious intent. Which means... maybe shouldn't have informed him about my problem.

As mentioned, he didn't even ask to talk to me on the phone. Bro explained to him and according to Bro's reaction and quick putting down of the phone...it didn't sound like Dad cared.

At the moment, I wish I had a friend...

I feel as though I've a fever. Sad also. Worry.

My life is ... it feels so short. *tears up, but stops it* Mustn't cry. Mustn't.

I have to believe that the transfusion will be fine.

Yesterday, I created a blogspot to show my writing for the first time.

I hope to be able to continue doing it.

I am still so young. *faint teary smile* With things to do, even if no people to see.

I can only blame it on bad genes, and my mom and dad for reproducing.

Dad's father (my grandpa who passed away years ago), was a heavy smoker. Drank alcohol as well and gambled.

Grandpa's genes... I believe were damaged. The family line from there is not well.

Future generation like myself and bro have to put up with the defects of his genes. Unfair.

Yet these genes have given me a gift. It is why I can write.

If all does not go well... *tears up again*.. I wish to say here, that I've... not lived in vain.

I have tried my best to live it in the best possible way. Even though my writing is not published, I tried my best. I can only hope for time.

Time to finish my 2 novels and time to write more.

In this life, it is my misfortune to have met my past love who did not care for me as much as I loved her. My sadness that I have no good/close friend. My sadness... especially for 1 thing that I was unable to prevent.

It is hard to think on the bright side of this transfusion, and scan.

There is nothing I can do.

Grief...

I have to think positive. There is no other way. Think positive.

When U Need A Shoulder To Cry On & Haider Ackermann L'Officiel Interview

11:42 P.M.

(First posted in Fridae)

2012-01-05 22:01

What do you do when you need someone to talk to? When you really need a shoulder to cry on? Just someone to sit with, who notices your state of sadness and need?

Do you:

1) Go watch a movie/TV show and after that forget about it?

2) Feel sad you have no one? Realize you have no one?

3) Go straight to work?

4) Pretend it never happened?

5) Look forward to tomorrow to begin a new day the right way? Consider today wasted?

6) Try to be rational about it and just flip it off in your mind?

7) Take a bottle of wine, sit in a corner?

I am sorry to say... I have to come here to talk about this.

By right, a person should have at least a close friend who feels that something has happened and asks you about it, or listens, or just leans forward for you to cry on without needing any words.

But such a friend, I do not have. Not here, not anywhere.

I wonder how many of you Fridae people here have people whom you can go to when you need comfort, help and just a shoulder.

I won't say whether you have or not, since I cannot say.

But when I need someone, just to sit with when I'm down, it's always just me, my words and my writing.

Human beings. 人間 Ningyan in Japanese. Ren Jian (the human realm) in Chinese.

The heart of a person... can be so shallow (referring to persons I know). That when you need help or just a human presence beside you, there is none.

This is what so-called friendship/relationship is.

Even a woman from here that I went out with just a few times, as a "friend", cannot even be called a "friend". Only an acquaintance.

Usually, I don't initiate correspondence via SMS. But tonight, I did. Nothing in particular, just... to have a response.

The response came and that was that. Nothing more from this person.

Just wanted a response... to comfort me. Just a reaching out from me via the SMS.

But this person.. I know is just using me for whatever reason. Just someone to fit into her schedule when it's convenient. That's all.

Yet, I allow it. To give chance, to just let things be.

Today, the problem was not her.

How many of you have problems with your mom and/or dads?

I think it's a common problem, that has caused many people to move out and find their own way in life, taking in rental mates to help split costs.

But...today, this problem is also not about moving out.

The incident today stirred up a lot of "buried" things.

Things that need to be continually covered up and put at the back of the mind, so that a person can try to be happy.

With that trigger, my entire day was ruined. It disturbed me very much.

When I feel this way, I just want to indulge in physical pleasure, physical "love". To feel loved, to make me forget.

While people turn to alcohol, I realize I turn to ... sex.

However, in reality I do not turn to sex. But I would like a woman to just make love to me, even if she's a stranger. I don't really care.

That is the feeling. I want to be picked up by a woman, brought to her home and made love to, to help me forget.

That is the feeling, that is the thought.

In the past, this thought and feeling would never have occured. Beyond thought. But somehow...4 years ago, my body naturally gravitated towards massage and the physical pleasure of it.

Some more years back, when I had a past love, it was engaging in bodily pleasure.

Put the 2 together...

Now, I appreciate sex, love-making, physical pleasure as a means of forgetting, of feeling love.

But nowhere can I get it.

Do I go to a whorehouse full of gay women? If only it were possible. If only such a place existed. Yeah, I think in such times, I would go to spend money, to enjoy professional company at professional prices like that.

Not just any whorehouse. I may even request a particular woman. And if she already has company.... well, then sadder for me.

When I feel like what I'm feeling... my first instinct is to wish for a friend with whom I can just call out and sit with. And not say anything, or maybe try to smile. But then this friend will be able to notice that something is bothering me, and will enquire what's up. I may or may not explain the problem, but I will certainly lean forward, against this person's shoulder and just bawl for as long as I need to.

And this person will not say a word, but just let me.

When it is over, I will just say, thanks, and buy this person lunch or dinner.

Is this considered "using" this person? No, because if this person comes to me with a problem, you can bet I'll try my damn-dest to help in any way I can.

As it is said: One good turn deserves another.

I never forget help or good work. Neither do I forgive easily if it cannot be forgiven.

Besides today, and also because of my backache, I'm considering more, that I want to check out a massage at Changi Village hotel, recommended by a woman here.

I told her I would check it out some time, but so far... never did. Apart from money consideration, Changi is also far for me.

But.. since she said they provide sensuous massage that she enjoyed...

It's worth checking out, since there aren't many spas providing such massage.

Previously, I told my bro that, a massage ... somehow activates a primitive part of the brain. It doesn't just feel good. It speaks to the mind as well.

It was difficult trying to explain to him.

A massage that's relaxing and soothing, activates the mind, in a way that exercise doesn't do. Exercise and massage are different.

After experiencing some very excellent massages, I believe massage is a necessary part of life. It is vital for a person's physical and mental well-being.

And it is a very powerful and helpful aid in coping with grief or psychological hurt, need or pain.

Today, back at the same restaurant for 3 days in a row... we were not served by the waitress Joy, but by a new girl.

Joy was there, I saw her. And I was disappointed that it wasn't her who came to take our orders.

Though the new girl was good (and nervous), it wasn't the same.

That, would be, I guess, the end between me and Joy. The end of...

I don't know. Feels like everything.

But I'm reminded of things I'd like to do. To keep at.

Now, as I type in the title of this post, the song by Tommy starts playing in my mind and I whistle it.

A song is well and good. But the reality of not having a shoulder to cry on, is not.

Yes, it's an old song. But the lyrics... when I first heard it, I played it over and over again. Never seemed to tire of listening to it.

It is a true song. Everyone needs a shoulder to cry on. Everyone needs a friend to rely on.

Touching. But unfortunately, there is no Tommy Page in my life. Will a search take me there?

(Update: I realized...quite sadly,  *faint smile* .. that Tommy Page's song is the only comfort I have. But.. typing about it here, and listening to his song.. helped. Wish it were true, that he would be there, "you'll always have my shoulder to cry on" "when the whole world's gone... "coz I'll be there". A comforting thought. Unfortunately, even Tommy Page has vanished. Where is he? I haven't heard any news of him passing.).

~~~~~~~~

Tonight, was needing physical comfort and since a body massage won't be ... (I don't know) sometime in coming...

I had to go for feet therapy at Nails @ The Lacquer Room Vivocity.

The staff there know me by name now. I'm a frequent visitor who doesn't make appointments, just walks in with the same requirements. And I never buy anything they promote.

So, I become memorable. They now realize I do not wish to improve the condition of my feet with anything they recommend, and just want to pay them to maintain my feet for me on site.

I go to smoothen my feet, and following that, the main reason/highlight: feet massage with Papaya or Mango Smoothie cream or scrub.

It's an alternative to a full body massage... make do with it.

It's my only physical indulgence that isn't too expensive. Which is why I always only go for that same "spa" treatment. I know exactly how much it costs every time.

I've tried a recommended "spa" or moisturizing treatment once, but...it didn't work for me, and not for that price.

Anyway, I always need a magazine while the lovely lady attends to me.

The ladies there always do a wonderful, beautiful and dedicated job. I really admire them for their skill and willingness to do such a job which to me, feels rather... insulting.

Their therapies extend to men as well. I saw an Ang Moh man there once, and a Chinese uncle. Pity the poor ladies who have to attend to their huge... difficult feet.

This time, I took a magazine off their counter. As usual, I just glanced at the cover and not at the title that's obscured anyway.

Read a very interesting interview with a fashion designer named Haider Ackermann.

Very very brief interview but I like this man and his very precise and very concise answers. "Economy of expression" hardly does him justice. :)

So, I memorized it as best as I could (but forgot some and need to be helped now with this website: http://patrimoine.jalougallery.com/lofficiel-singapore-numero_45-page_961-detailp-38-6967-961.html)

I was, after all, sleepy and enjoying very nice treatment by the lady doing my feet.

Who would you like to be represented by?

Instead of deciding, I'd rather be surprised... and the person wearing my creations leads her to me.

Who would you like to be approached by?

A stranger.

Who would you like to be provoked by?

A stranger.

Who would you like to be hated by?

A stranger.

Who are you amazed by?

I do not want to be amazed. I'd rather be seduced.

His 4th answer really woke me into thinking... this was an unusual man. Why would he want to be hated by a stranger as opposed to someone he knows? Perhaps, a stranger matters nothing to him. To be hated by a stranger, is to be safe.

The next answer ... is same as what I'd think. I prefer to be seduced. Be surprised. It's sexier. :)

His first answer already caught me a little, because he has no fixed idea, and would rather be surprised by whatever leads him to wherever it might lead. I like that. Personally, I feel this way too.

A few more questions... I like all his answers.

While memorizing, I realized I didn't know the name of the magazine. And looked for the title, that was unclear (blocked by the model's head?).

After a few pages ahead, I saw it was the November 2011 issue of L'Officiel. French.

I would like to get to know such a man. He looks Indian, and I was surprised by his views that I didn't think Indian people would tend to think.

His answers are very... open and interesting. I would like to know him, to know more. What is he really like.

Prior to reading his interview, I had never even heard of him.

Now, I would to see what kind of fashion he designs.

While Googling for that interview website, I glanced a comment somewhere that his designs are not loud...subtle?

Tom Cruise (Ghost Protocol Mission Impossible), Abercrombie & Fitch (A&F SG store Orchard Road)

1) Just back from watching Mission Impossible: Ghost Protocol. Tom Cruise has aged a lot. I still miss him as the vampire Lestat in Interview With a Vampire (with Brad Pitt).

So handsome back then. Eyes so ice blue, face so pale... hands so long and elegant... teeth so cold. *faint smile* Sad, lonely, sexy, handsome, beautiful vampire.

At that time, Kristen Dunst was still a newbie and this movie made her famous. She was only a young girl then, playing a living doll, long blond tresses... can't recall the name of the role she played. But so lucky to be playing beside 2 of the handsomest and sexiest guys at such a young age.

Mission Impossible.... good overall. Still maintained the standard even after the first few movies. So, that's good.

Movies like Pirates of the C are really bad: first one good, second one not so good and last one horrid. (brings to mind Bro's opinion on Matrix as well).

Tom Cruise needs a rest. Needs a sleep. He looks haggard, not just due to his age, but... he has really pushed it to the limit.

He is fit, but it's visible that his body has aged. In one scene where he is without a shirt, standing on a ledge outside the window, he looked like other older men, the top bigger than the lower body (not due to muscles or workout).

Don't know why that happens when Hollywood men get older. Happened to Sean Connery as well.

Tom Cruise has lost much of his physical magnetism and attractiveness. But the movie is still good, because ... it makes sense and the action is very tight and rivetting, edge of the seat exciting and you really feel the adrenalin, especially the height at 130 storeys in Dubai.

Quite a few people in the cinema audience expressed their fear and concern when "looking down" at that height. The vertigo made my hands and feet sweat.

Imagine having to climb up further, outside the window, on the window pane, on nothing except a pair of gizmo gloves that haven't been tested, your arms and normal shoes.

That's what Ethan Hunt (Cruise's character) did to get into a room upstairs, on the outside, with a time limit of some minutes. With his hands not even sweating.

"Blue is glue, red is dead.", said the computer guy who provides the gloves that look suspiciously flimsy and floppy.

So, the guys cut out the window and Ethan goes outside and starts walking on vertical glass.

What happens when while climbing, the blue light on the right glove starts suddenly blinking for no reason? Then suddenly turns red? And ultimately, even the left glove fails just when Ethan managed to get into the room?

The only thing lacking, is a label that says, "Made in China". Never depend your life on things made there.

Of course, they can't put that label, unless they want China to make noise.

But we all know why the gloves failed, and where it came from. So putting a label is actually not necessary. The gloves speak for themselves.

I miss Tom Cruise's beauty. Age is a cruel thing. I fully sympathize and still want him to tuck me into bed with a goodnight kiss. That's what I said to the companion accompanying me today. But she didn't think it was a good idea.

He's still handsome, just not as handsome. :) I said after he takes a nice nap, he should be looking good again. My companion doubted it. I said all he needs is a good sleep, and he'll be fresh and look rejuvenated.

Sleep does wonders.

The other cool effect, besides the excitement of the gloves, is... the moving screen with a very cool gizmo that follows the view's eyes. So, the viewer sees the same image at the same distance, even though in fact, the screen (and the guys behind it) are moving closer and closer.

Notice it is "viewer", singular.

The gizmo only works its magic on one person's visual perception. More than 1 person and the gizmo starts adjusting to different viewpoints, with the result that the image starts "jumping", thereby exposing itself.

It's a very believable technology that is believable to be available now because of this limitation.

Crusie produced this movie, and I think he grounded it more realistically to present time in this way, instead of some futuristic gizmos that are way too incredible.

A nuclear threat is also very real. And it's realistic to hear the cover-ups in the "news reports" in the movie. A nuclear warhead that knocks off a side of a building is described as a meteor that fell in the day time. A major detonation at the Kremblin is described as problem with gas pipes under the building.

Ghost Protocol is nice, but it made me miss Lestat more. I might have to see Interview With A Vampire again, to see Cruise's beauty once more.

~~~~~~

2) Speaking of beauty... Before the movie began, my companion and I dropped by the newly opened A&F store. :)

Last night while looking for a A&F jacket in the official website, I was surprised by the high prices. I didn't know A&F was so expensive.

At Taiwan websites, a A&F furry jacket costs much much less.

While Googling, I saw the publicity about the A&F store in SG.

A giant poster that I've been admiring every time I saw it at the crossroads at Orchard Road has been labelled "Too Sexy". And the authorities wanted it removed.

http://www.cnngo.com/singapore/shop/abercrombie-fitch-too-sexy-singapore-833818

Of course, I'm not the only one who feels the poster is so beautiful, and someone went even further than me to say:

"Yes, we should complain. How can you tease us like that with the pants slung so low and offer nothing else? Not even a strip of fuzz? It's indecent of A&F to leave their ads like that. COMPLAIN!"

Indeed. My sentiments exactly! Bravo.

I never thought of the fuzz until I read what this person said.

Actually, come to think, where is the fuzz at such a low... position?

Unfortunately, I think it's been shaved off.

The poster makes/made me want to pull down the pants...for more.

Then there was another Google result on "shirtless greeters". I didn't read that one, but saw a photo of a row of shirtless guys standing in a line. Apparently, that's a publicity for the store's opening.

The companion with me today, informed that they were there before the store's opening, and the fact that they are no longer posed outside, means the store has already opened (since I asked if the store was already open).

According to the Google result, the store is supposed to open this month.

I saw 2 guys in blue Ts, jeans and sandals on either side of the store's entrance. Just normal-looking guys.

Upon entering, naked guy on my right. Ok, shirtless with just jeans. Now, I wasn't paying attention if he wore any footwear... so interested was I in his ... upper body.

He had a nice front body, not too much gym, just nice. Very tight abs, but not 6 packs. Very tight, lean, smooth, perfect skin that made me want to touch his stomach.

His chest was most prominent, protruding with some muscle.

I looked at his body first, then up to his face. Hmm... Ok face. Not very handsome, but Ok, goes with his body.

European face? American? Australian? Light brown, very short, neat haircut. Nice smile and eyes.

(I know it's hard to get both beautiful body and face to match. A&F are doing their best, I know).

I guess I wasn't being polite in looking like that. It seemed he looked a little embarrassed and looked down.

Well, forgive me for looking at him like he was a piece of...meat.

He had put himself on display after all. (Doesn't he feel cold, standing in the air-con store? Does he need something to cover his chest?).

How much are they paying him, anyway?

He was taller than average, so... most of the shoppers entering the store were definitely shorter than him.

Later, I saw a lady stand beside him and he put his arm around her, for photo-taking by another lady. Tourists.

So... I was thinking... Could I... ask him if I could touch him? I have the urge to poke him with my fingertip on his ab, just to feel if he's real. And.. if possible, run my hand down his abs.... :) Can?

Later on the way out, I walked nearer to him, to look more closely, and again he seemed embarrassed and looked down. I don't know if it was because he noticed I was looking. There were many people walking in and out of there.

From the side, he actually has a curved back. So, it's only the front that's nice. I mentioned it to my companion and she agreed he looked hunched. Later, when I got back, I told my bro that it might be because he didn't watch his back while gym-ing with weights.

Due to these weights, his back curved forwards. Either that, or... he has been carrying a sling bag or school bag that's been too heavy for him for years.

Bro thinks it's bad posture during sitting... But I said I don't think his type sits much.

I don't know. Maybe during his school years, he modelled part-time...

Whatever it is, I now regret not having asked him if I could touch him.

My companion said touching would be sexual harrassment. But I said, I'm asking for his permission, not just touching. So... it's not sexual harrassment.

Makes me consider going back one of these days to ask...

That aside, there are a few problems with the store. Their concept is good, but as a gay club or night club, the store would be classy.

A night club like Attica don't even look half as good.

#1 = Decor and ambience too dark. Lighting poor. Makes it difficult to see the merchandise on display. A black skirt when lifted up... I could hardly see the design. The yellow lights do not help because of the glare and reflection.

#2 = Mirrors are dangerous in the darkness. Due to the small size of the store and connecting passages with large showcases between, and confusing darkness and lights, it is possible to walk into one of the mirrors.

This is a safety issue the store needs to seriously amend/consider.

#3 = The stairs have lit steps, but due to the poor lighting overall, the staircase is unsafe. Have to walk carefully and slowly and hold onto the handrails.

#4 = This is a store, not a museum. There shouldn't be so many glass showcases with the merchandise inside as if it's a showcase of museum artefacts.

The showcases also take up a lot of walking space. The store is small enough without such large display cases that are dangerous due to the lighting conditions.

#5 = Lighting is very poorly done. Doesn't enhance the merchandise at all, but directs away from the items instead. A person does not know where to look and it's actually quite discouraging with the bad coordination of shadows, light and darkness.

#6 = There are actually very few items in the store, with the same design. Not a variety of styles. Just the A&F logo on every piece of item that looks about the same as another.

For the sort of prices charged, it's not very attractive (which would explain why before I went in, I saw customers walking out without buying anything. I'm guessing now this is partly due to the bad lighting.).

#7 = Perfume in the store. My companion liked the perfume fragrance they used in the store, so I asked a guy. And he was very friendly, said it's "Fierce" that can be found at the bar counter downstairs.

Perfume is like putting music on a website. Personal taste is very subjective. By putting a masculine fragrance for the entire store, it can drive away some people who don't like the scent. Personally, I don't like it and would prefer they left it unscented.

 

I said to my companion, "Why would anyone want to wear a perfume called "fierce" when they should wear one called "sexy"?".

Overall, the decor and lighting aren't conducive to making people want to buy, because the concept they created is more of a museum quality, look and touch, rather than buy.

The store would be perfect as a club, or night-spot to hang out and be seen.

The staircase makes a perfect entrance or exit for any hot/young/sexy man/woman in the club. In fact, I'd rather it were a classy gay club or classy unisex club. It's very sexy.

With all the guys hanging around and the merchandise designs catering more to guys, I guess A&F is more of a guy thing. I didn't know that until checking out their store today.

On the plus side, the store's staff (a lady who asked my companion if she needed any help with getting the right size, and the guy whom I asked about the store's perfume) were polite and good.

(Before that, checked out H&M, which loses to Pull & Bear in terms of classy outfits and designs. H&M was a disappointment, yet people were buying. Prices affordable but very bad-looking clothes.).