11:51 p.m. 28 Dec Thurs
E-mail to Donate & get us out: thezinepin@gmail.com
Seeing him sleep, I think: How can one person suffer so much? My poor brother. How can I help him? He is so tired, he snores as he sleeps with strange exhalations through his mouth even though he has no cold. I fear his spirit is disturbed.
This mental torment day after day without relief. All because he is the son of a madman who refuses to let us go. This madman uses some kind of black magic or some link to latch onto us, causing physical & mental symptoms.
Sitting at the edge of my bed, I can't think of a solution that will bring us enough cash quickly to get us out.
Even if I finish writing my novel, it does not seem like a viable money option. I've been putting my novel on hold for so long since this thing began. I want to continue writing it, but the need to search for a job, the lack of peace of mind, I just want us to get out to a better place where I can write.
There are only so few ways of getting rich on our own & none is going to happen soon. How?
1) Lottery
2) Become the next Harry Potter writer
3) Sell stuff that's so hot that I make so much money.
Do you know that when you're broke, everything falls apart?
My jogging shoes Nike (not made in China) is falling apart at the sole. I've glued it twice & still it's damn coming apart. Don't buy Nike. Other brands don't break apart at the front of the soles & sides. When I had money back years ago, I've worn Asics, Brooks & Reebok & they've been fine.
My underwear has loosened.
My black pants has split at the seams.
The arm of my glasses has broken off so I am just wearing over my nose with 1 side.
I've no money to buy replacements.
I see people treat their money like dirt. The other day at Meidiya supermarket, one man passed a $38 Japanese eel wrapped in a tray to his wife/girlfriend. She took it from him & just tossed it into their supermarket trolley. $38. The disrespect with which she just tossed it is unbelievable.
And there are many people like her. Look around in supermarkets & you'll see many women just taking & throwing the items into their basket or trolleys as if the items are dirt. I don't know what goes through their minds to toss such precious items like that.
It's strange that they have no respect for the food items that they are buying to put into their bodies. These are items that are going to nourish their minds & bodies & should be treated with respect. Yet these brainless people are tossing & throwing food like trash into their baskets & trolleys. One can't help but think that they are mad.
And when you look at these people, you'll realize that they look like shit.
I feel sad looking at such people. Here I am, conscious of everything, yet poor. Whereas these people have money but they don't value it & the food they eat.
X'mas has come & gone & yet I still haven't snagged a job. I've been trying but I think I started too slow. I couldn't find any online in the beginning. By the time I start physically going out to get hired, an entire month has passed.
I spent the entire today trying to get hired on the spot. But the process is so slow, they must find time to call me back & then interview.
At Clarke Quay, I arrived early noon. But a staff told me to come back 2 hours later when the manager will be around. So, I wasted time hanging around the area. When I returned to the place, the manager (after some confusion about what I wanted) said the recruitment guy just left. So I left my contact number & walked out.
On the way to the Chinese temple, I was caught in the drizzle. While standing at a traffic light, the drizzle suddenly like a tap turned on, blasting everyone. I had to run back to the bus-stop.
After the temple & desperate enough, I chased the job thing to Orchard where as lousy luck has it (the temple gods didn't improve luck), the recruitment person that I was originally assigned by the system to meet, was on leave. He'll be back tomorrow, so I'm supposed to waste another trip tomorrow. The manager was in but never even bothered coming out to conduct an interview on behalf of the absent man.
Later, I went to Paris Miki to try fixing the arm of my glasses. But as lousy luck continued... the only person who is able to fix it has gone home. He'll be back tomorrow before 6.30p.m.
Walking away, I said aloud that Fate is so goddamn perfectly lined up like this. If only lottery was the same.
At the end of the day, I stalked my previous work place that I had quit because of shitty manager & shitty fat woman whom he listens to absolutely. The fat woman wasn't there tonight, oddly. And they hired 2 more new women. Do they need me back? Do I want to go back?
I need the money & have been thinking whether it's possible to return to work there. I stalked the place to check whether they need staff & how I would feel seeing the manager again.
Seeing the manager there again as I stood outside... Frankly, I don't want to see him again. But if the fat ugly woman has transferred out... maybe I might ask to return. These few days, I've been running through my mind, how I was going to text the manager to ask if I could go back. Whether he might actually agree, is another matter. I am guessing he might not reply.
