Pissed

8.36 p.m. Thurs

Patience has turned to anger. Slammed the damn mouse against the mouse pad just now. It's been disobeying commands... bearable when I'm well, hateful when I'm ill. Hate it. Feel like throwing it against the wall. Smash Everything!

Why must I be given this female body?! Who gave it to me?!!

Lower back hurts, my womb/uterus hurts, fibroid hurts. I can't sit here typing without feeling the hurt.

Bro said those "Ah Kuas" (men who play dress up as women), should experience this. Since they want to be women, then have the whole package!

I said, "Now you know why I get so pissed with them. Men who think being women is just about wearing dresses and heels. Simplistic imbeciles. No matter how much you explain to them, they won't understand. Being a man is so much better, fewer physical problems. Women... indeed, I've come to believe, are the weaker sex in terms of physical well-being.".

For the past 5 days, bro has been taking care of me. I've been in bed most of the time. Even now, it hurts to sit too long at my desk. I'm thinking of moving the laptop to my bed.

I've to lay down. When will I be well again? Or is this... only the beginning of an end? *sardonic smile*

Bro has just bought me a warm/hot rubber bottle compress for the cramping feeling in my uterus. Now trying to make the damn thing work. The rubber stinks and hot water cannot be poured directly into it. Yet mixing with cool water does not make it hot. Useless thing.

We can only guess what the heck is going on inside me. I don't even know.

Might have to resort back to using the old fashioned towel in hot water way. Surprising, this simple method gives relief.

Ok, seems the rubber bottle is working. It's on me now and its heat increases from warm to hot.